Having worked in a hospital for seven years, I have been privy to medical arcanum: formulae and bits of wisdom long kept outside of traditional scientific journals. These whispered revelations occur in dark corners of cafeterias after hours, or in offices, the door closed, ears attuned to the sounds of potential lurkers.

I must admit to no longer being able to keep these extraordinary medical solutions to myself. The time has come to start spilling the beans so that more people can benefit from these miracle cures.

Medicine has long known how to prevent infections such as the common cold and influenza from being transmitted from one contaminated patient to a healthy individual. I am ready to share that knowledge with you.

No, the answer lies not with an opaque pill made from ground-up elephant tusks, nor from a proto-Indo-European incantation.

The mystical answer comes in the form of a…